5 Categories of One-Hit Wonders
Posted on September 25, 2023
by Eric P
September 25 is National One-Hit Wonder Day. It’s a commemoration that happens every year, though when you think about it they probably just should have done it once. But this is an especially good year to observe the day: Aqua’s one hit “Barbie Girl” just got a second life (does that make them ineligible for the title?) thanks to the smash hit Barbie movie.
Everyone knows that a one-hit wonder is an artist who had one big hit song and then was never heard from again. Except it’s not quite as simple as that. To qualify, do you have to never place another song on any Billboard chart at any number ever? Or is it just no other song in the top twenty-five? The top ten? What about artists like Fiona Apple or Akron’s own Devo, who are best known by many for one specific song but have a well-regarded and influential body of work otherwise?
Mostly, I think, listmakers decide to commit to whichever baroque guidelines and exclusionary rules will permit them to include their favorite songs on their roster of one-hit wonders. To qualify for this particular list, your song needs to be available through one of the Toledo Lucas County Public Library’s various music outlets – sorry, Eddy Grant and Toni Basil – and you need to not be Vanilla Ice.
1. Funk Hit Wonders
Many often think of one-hit wonders as a 1980s and 90s thing – Kajagoogoo, Timbuk 3, Gerardo, the “How Bizarre” guy. But they’ve been around for as long as we’ve had popular music; ask your grandparents about “Teen Angel” or “Lollipop,” about the Singing Nun or Staff Sergeant Barry Sadler. The 1970s were a particularly fecund (and funky) time for the phenomenon, spawning one-and-done hits as big as the lapels and as ephemeral as Betamax.
“O-o-h Child” by the Five Stairsteps
“Mr. Big Stuff” by Jean Knight
“Bang a Gong (Get it On)” by T. Rex
“Convoy” by C.W. McCall
“You Light Up My Life” by Debby Boone
2. One Hit Ruxpins
But it really does feel like the one-hit wonder had its heyday in the 1980s, when everything – leg warmers, parachute pants, Bartles & Jaymes commercials – burned brightly and disappeared.
3. Swatch Hit Wonders
In fact, rigorous study by teams of scientists has determined that the single greatest year for one-hit wonders was 1983, when single-hit artists multiplied and spread across the countryside like cane toads. Experts theorize it’s because they had no natural predators. Also, maybe it had something to do with deregulation or the invasion of Grenada. Either way, check out these earworms:
“Come On Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners
“The Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats
“In a Big Country” by Big Country
4. One Hit Mambos
But if you’re not lucky enough to be recording music in 1983 – and most of us aren’t — another tactic for landing one lone hit on American radio is to record a novelty song, or at least a song that’s novelty-adjacent. Possible strategies include: singing in a language other than English, or in a non-American accent. Start a pervasive dance craze. Get a little bit of Monica in your life. And if all else fails, be too sexy for your cat.
“Der Kommissar” by After the Fire
“99 Luftballons” by Nena
“Macarena” by Los Del Rio
“Mambo No. 5” by Lou Bega
5. One Hot Wonders
Finally, there’s the eternal appeal of suggestiveness. Pop music always wants to be at least a little sexy, and artists like to attract attention with a scintilla of adult language or a well-placed double-entendre. Even a single-entendre will do in a pinch. But it can be risky. Sell the libidinous thing with credibility and playfulness and you could have a full and rewarding career like Prince. Tip the naughtiness scale into goofiness or sleaziness and it’s one-hit wonderland for you.
“My Sharona” by The Knack
“It’s Raining Men” by the Weather Girls
“I Touch Myself” by Divinyls
“Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-Lot
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