Love You, Hate Your Politics

Posted on January 19, 2021

by Amy H

Our psyche as a nation is at a breaking point. It would be the understatement of a lifetime to say that political disagreements are problematic for most people these days. From friends to relatives to lovers, no relationship is immune to this crisis. Fear not, there are resources that can (hopefully!) help.

Cover of I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics: How to protect your intimate relationships in a poisonous partisan world

I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics: How to protect your intimate relationships in a poisonous partisan world

By Jeanne Safer


Are extended family events rife with mutual political exasperation where conversations wind up angrily limited to the weather? Are you convinced that you can change your coworker’s mind, if you could only argue forcefully enough? Political disagreements have been ravaging our personal relationships like never before. No relationship is immune to this crisis. Safer draws from interviews with every type of politically mixed relationship, as well as her own experiences as a die-hard liberal happily married to a stalwart conservative. No matter which side of the fence you’re on, this book offers frank, practical advice for salvaging and strengthening your bonds with your loved ones.

Cover of Beyond your Bubble : how to connect across the political divide, skills and strategies for conversations that work

Beyond your Bubble : how to connect across the political divide, skills and strategies for conversations that work

By Tania Israel

This practical, politically neutral book offers concrete skills for holding meaningful conversations that cut across today’s intense political divide, showing readers how to connect to the people in their lives. Psychologist Tania Israel discusses how to develop and use skills that are the foundation of constructive conversation, including strategies for effective listening, managing emotions, and understanding someone else’s perspective, as well as finding common ground, avoiding self-righteousness, and telling your own story. Throughout, conversation prompts, practical exercises, case examples, and self-quizzes help readers visualize and practice starting, sustaining, and ending challenging conversations

Cover of How to have impossible conversations : a very practical guide

How to have impossible conversations : a very practical guide

By Peter Boghossian & James Lindsay

In our current political climate, it seems impossible to have a reasonable conversation with anyone who has a different opinion. Dialogue shuts down when perspectives clash, and heated debates often lead to insults and shaming, blocking any possibility of productive discourse. Everyone seems to be on a hair trigger. Boghossian and Lindsay guide you through the straightforward, practical, conversational techniques necessary for every successful conversation — whether the issue is climate change, religious faith, gender identity, race, poverty, immigration, or gun control. Teaching the subtle art of instilling doubts and opening minds and covering everything from learning the fundamentals for good conversations to achieving expert-level techniques to deal with hardliners and extremists. This book is the manual everyone needs to foster a climate of civility, connection, and empathy.

Cover of I think you're wrong (but I'm listening) : a guide to grace-filled political conversations

I think you’re wrong (but I’m listening) : a guide to grace-filled political conversations

By Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers

Large print

Two friends on opposite sides of the aisle provide a practical guide to grace-filled political conversation while challenging readers to put relationship before policy and understanding before argument. More than ever, politics seems driven by conflict and anger. People sitting together in pews every Sunday have started to feel like strangers, loved ones at the dinner table like enemies. Holland and Silvers say there is a better way. As working moms on opposite ends of the political spectrum and hosts of a fast-growing politics podcast, they have learned how to practice engaging conversation while disagreeing.

Talking Across the Divide: How to Communicate with People You Disagree with and Maybe Even Change the World

By Justin Lee

Whether the issue is Donald Trump, healthcare, abortion, gun control, breastfeeding, or even DC vs Marvel, it feels like you can’t voice an opinion without ruffling someone’s feathers. In a time when every conversation quickly becomes a battlefield, it’s up to us to learn how to talk to each other again. Social justice activist Justin Lee explains how to break through the five key barriers that make people resist differing opinions. With a combination of psychological research, pop-culture references, and anecdotes from Justin’s many years of experience mediating contentious conversations, this book will help you understand people on the other side of the argument and give you the tools you need to change their minds–even if they’ve fallen for fake news.

Cover of Thou Shalt Not Be a Jerk: A Christian's Guide to Engaging Politics

Thou Shalt Not Be a Jerk: A Christian’s Guide to Engaging Politics

By Eugene Cho

Cho heads a non-partisan Christian advocacy organization based in Washington DC that seeks to end hunger in the US and abroad, and founded Quest Church, an urban, multi-cultural and multi-generational parish in Seattle, WA. He explores how Christians can engage with others when political disagreements have ended friendships, divided families and church communities, and left people bruised, determined to avoid anything political. Carefully considering the prayer-filled yet significantly divergent political views Christians hold, Cho challenges readers to move beyond apathy, avoidance, and echo chambers, equipping Christians to listen and engage politically with humility, integrity, conviction. This book an inspiring, valuable resource as people of faith seek to navigate a polarized climate with grace and truth.

Cover of Dignity: its essential role in conflict

Dignity: its essential role in conflict

By Donna Hicks


The desire for dignity is a motivating force behind all human interaction–in families, in communities, in the business world, and in relationships at the international level. When dignity is violated, the response is likely to involve aggression, even violence, hatred, and vengeance. When people treat one another with dignity, they become more connected and able to create more meaningful relationships. Drawing on her extensive experience in international conflict resolution and on insights from psychology and neuroscience, the author explains the elements of dignity, how to recognize and respond to violations of those concepts, how dignity can restore a broken relationship, and more. Hicks shows that by choosing dignity as a way of life, we open the way to greater peace within ourselves and to a safer and more humane world for all.

Whether you’re online, in a classroom, an office, a town hall — or just hoping to get through a family dinner with a stubborn relative, there are always ways to communicate even when people disagree intensely. These resources help us learn and build skills needed to engage in civil discourse, which we desperately need in these divisive times. Everyone can play a part in healing a nation, it just takes patience and time. Start now.

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