Yelp Reviews From the Top 10 Worst Meals in Literature

Posted on November 22, 2022

by Eric P

Cooking for the holidays can be stressful: large groups, family expectations, unfamiliar recipes, and what’s a turducken again? We’ve all got a kitchen disaster or two on our culinary resumés. But it happens to the best (and the worst) of us. Check out these Yelp reviews from some of the worst meals in some of literature’s most memorable works.

Titus Andronicus

By William Shakespeare

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With Titus in the kitchen, having family for dinner takes on a whole new meaning.

Great Expectations

By Charles Dickens

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Still offering the exact same wedding cake they’ve served for years – you don’t mess with a classic! Although, truth be told, there are a few bugs in the recipe.

Strong Poison

By Dorothy L. Sayers

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Get your coffee made your way. My favorite: nonfat, extra foam, light on the lethal toxins. And I know it’s basic but I just can’t stay away from the pumpkin spice arsenic.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

By C.S. Lewis

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The greatest trick C.S. Lewis ever pulled was convincing generations of children that Turkish Delight must be tantalizingly delicious. Also it’s high in sugar and carbs and has been found to lower free will. Stick with Tumnus’s tea.

Naked Lunch

By William S. Burroughs

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False advertising. Was expecting a casual-dress midday eatery, but I’m pretty sure nothing here meets minimum health codes.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

By Roald Dahl

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I know they say candy isn’t good for your health, but this is ridiculous. Don’t even try the gum unless you brought an EpiPen.

How to Eat Fried Worms

By Thomas Rockwell

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The menu could use some variety. And some vertebrates.

The Silence of the Lambs

By Thomas Harris

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The meals have real personality. And Social Security numbers. Not a lot here for vegans, though.

American Psycho

By Bret Easton Ellis

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It’s easy to fill up on the monkfish ragout, but save room for urinal cake!

The Help

By Kathryn Stockett

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Don’t get the pie.